Thursday, July 9, 2009

Update: I'm over the hump

OK, I'll say it: I had a harder time getting over Matthew than I first admitted. Though my "head" realized that the breakup was for the best (he truly wasn't right for me), my "heart" was much more reluctant to go there.

I've had some sleepless nights, some lonely days, and I've bent friends' and family members' ears off talking about it, ad nauseum -- him, us, the breakup, etc. -- the way we women do, when trying to process feelings and change in our lives. I've gone out to social events and even on a few dates, but many times found myself just "going though the motions," as it were.

I really struggled during the Fourth of July weekend, because last year by comparison was such a fun time -- Matt and I were totally into each other. This year, my mom and stepdad came for a very low-key visit, so that provided a bit of a distraction; but still, I felt an overwhelming sadness and melancholy all weekend long.

But, just a couple of days ago, in the middle of the night, while I was in that hazy zone of half-sleeping/half-waking, something clicked in my head/heart. I'm no longer obsessed with thinking about what he's doing (and who he's doing it with!), or wondering "what if" ... he were different? I were different? We hadn't had that final argument? Blah, blah, blah ....

I finally let him go! Yay!

Now, I'm actually looking forward to getting out there, being active, making social plans -- and meeting new fellas! I really DO believe that Mr. Right is just around the corner. And' I'm ready for him!!!


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