Friday, September 24, 2010

Where are all the good guys?

Pardon my pique, but I'm about to indulge in a bit of personal ranting, something I'm sure you've noticed I'm not prone to -- at least on this blog.

As a single woman smack dab in the center of the Baby Boom generation, I've been dating with the intention of finding a man to settle into a rewarding, long-term relationship with. My preference is someone close to my age -- give or take a few years on either side -- because I just find it easier to relate to someone who grew up at or around the same time I did.

Now, I realize I'm not perfect; but, at the risk of sounding conceited, I believe I have a lot to offer: I'm smart, funny, well-rounded, independent, trim and fit, and reasonably attractive. So why has it been so hard to find an equally deserving guy?

You might suspect that I'm too picky. Or afraid of commitment. Or some other such thing that amounts to a personal failing.

And, maybe so. But, frankly, I think the problem lies with the pool of men that I'm "fishing" in. They just don't seem to be out there in any significant numbers. When I go out socially or participate in recreational activities, invariably the women in my age group outnumber the men by at least two to one. I realize that the odds where I live -- South Florida -- DO favor the men quite a bit. But you'd think that they would still be out and about in visible numbers.

So, while I'm out bike riding, or attending a barbecue/picnic, or snorkeling, or shooting pool, or doing dinner and a movie, where are all the good guys my age? Are they hanging out in bars? Staying home immersed in solitary hobbies? Watching back-to-back sporting events? Watching porn? Yeah, guys -- that's gonna be good for your social life!

Even worse, it seems like the eligible men in my age bracket aren't looking for long-term. Some are fresh off a divorce and want to sow some wild oats; fair enough. But too many others, who've been single at least several years, seem to relish their bachelorhood far too much to want to "settle" for one woman. They want to be free to "enjoy" their 40s and 50s -- which, apparently, means going through as many women as humanly possible.

It will be interesting to see how these same "free spirits" feel about being tied to a relationship in another decade or so. I'd be willing to bet that they'll suddenly be quite open to settling down with someone -- someone who will be there to go with them to the doctor, make sure they take their meds, comfort them in their old age.

And guess what, guys? I'm not so sure that we gals are going to willing to go along with that plan. If you don't want to be with us in these relatively healthy and prosperous years, when we could actually enjoy life as a couple, why the hell should you deserve us when you need a nursemaid?


Drake Sigar said...

Want to know what I think? Well tough, I’m telling you anyway. :P

Both women and men are so terrified of being alone that they jump into relationship after relationship because they’re afraid that if they don’t, they’ll be nobody left available. Love has been perverted into a child’s game of musical chairs, and you're left standing!

Tracy Allerton said...

Drake --

Ha, so true, so true!

My post was definitely written in a moment of frustration, and I have no doubt that guys are just as baffled by the whole dating/ finding love/staying single dance.

It's true that singlehood doesn't have to be miserable. In fact, it can be enjoyable, especially if you have social bonds and friendships to fill the need for human closeness.

Still, I maintain my contention that more of the women in my age group are seeking long-term relationships than the men ...

But thanks for reading, and posting a comment! It's nice to know that my blog is being seen by at least a few peeps!

Osgar said...

We are here !!!!! Good, loving , intelligent well standing mid age guys, with a lot of experience and so on, willing to share all that with nice ladies (no lolitas) But " Where are all the good ladies??" It`s the same, the woman( must of them) wants to take you by the neck and turn you into a pet !! No way! Both gender should enjoy free good love, only in that way a long time relationship can survive, and don`t take me wrong, I`m talking about balance, respect and many more matters that for most of mankind are gone since time on ! The subject is not easy at all !!

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